Off The Road Again... Winter Touring in The Great White North

Here’s an idea – pack your suitcase, it’s time to hit the road! Like any seasoned vet will tell you, winter is NOT the ideal time to tour across this great nation of ours. There’s the cold temperature, snow drifts, frozen equipment, not to mention would-be fans who’d rather stay home during a blizzard than load up the toboggan and head down to the rock show. Why would any sane person do it? Oh right, we’re musicians!

I decided to go against the grain and travel back to my roots this winter. You know, those tiny frozen provinces back East that nobody talks about much? Yep, that’s me. I’m a Maritimer. Fortunately I’m not planning any stops in The Praries (brrrrrr), but I just got to thinking about how much of a challenge it is to hit the road when old man winter comes a calling.

I don’t have too many horrific touring stories. Well, there was the time I had my wisdom teeth pulled the day before driving to Courtenay, BC for a performance. It wasn’t bad once the pain pills kicked in, but I think my swollen face and glazed-over look scared a couple of the concert-goers. We had a good laugh in the end, once the swelling went down. Hey, if you’ve got horror stories, email them to me. I want to hear! That would be a cool idea for a future article.

Now, to prepare for my long, arduous trip, I rounded up a few of my favourite books about touring to help get me psyched. I don’t want to give you a Summer Reading List like my grade 4 teacher Mrs Estabrooks (aka Mrs Extra-Books), but rather “suggest” a few books that will get you in the mood for some touring. They’ll at least shed some light on the challenges and rewards of touring, let alone in the brutal Canadian Winter. Here we go:

“I, Shithead” by Joe Keithley is my #1. You might have heard of Joe. He’s a punk rock legend from right here in BC, and he has been featured on the cover of this fine magazine! One of my favourite lines from the book was about per diems, which were set at the “princely sum of two bucks a day” on one tour: “Look at it this way. Down here in the Carolinas, smokes are seventy-nine cents a pack and a six-pack of generic beer is $1.09. The beer will sub for food, so you’re all set!”

Now if that’s not touring on a shoestring, I don’t know what is. Joe’s group D.O.A fought through all the hardships – Getting stiffed by promoters, infighting, snow-drifts, and they are still rockin’ hard today! Trust me, this book is a page-burner. Pick it up and you won’t be able to put it down!

“Get In The Van” by Henry Rollins is second on my list. L.A. band Black Flag were pioneers in the early days of hardcore music, and this book follows the life of then lead singer Henry Rollins from his days managing a Baskin Robbins to the infamous shed where he lived between tours. I particularly like the food stories. Desperate to fill their bellies, the band would hang out in front of restaurants, wait for patrons to leave, then buzz the table like seagulls for any food left behind. And then there were the salad bars…. You’ll just have to read for yourself.

“On The Road” – by Jack Kerouac is a story about the beat poet generation, set in the 1940’s. A little different from my other suggestions, but still a great read that makes you want to get up and take a journey. As you’ll see, life on the road can be tough, but Kerouac’s storytelling makes you think, or at least wish you were there. Times have indeed changed since this story was written, but I think it still has relevance today.

“Dead Milkmen – Tour Stories” by Dean Clean is a little different because it’s a web diary, but it found a home on my list because I love the band, and like D.O.A these guys were relentless road warriors. Sometimes they’d have a place to stay, sometimes they wouldn’t. Sometimes they’d get paid, sometimes they wouldn’t. Again, there is a heavy emphasis on food in these stories. I guess when you’re that happy to eat, you have to describe eaceh and every meal right down to the spices! Check out www.deadmilkmen.com/tourstories for a delicious read.

Of course if you’re looking for more of a How-to approach to touring, there are plenty of great instructional books out there. (Not that you won’t learn a lot from Joe Keithley). “Getting Gigs – by Mark Curran is a good start (you need to book shows before you can start touring). “Musicians Guide to Touring and Promotion” is a semi-annual directory produced by Billboard, with all sorts of useful contacts from A&R to promoters.

This Business Of Concert Promotion And Touring is a really great “all-inclusive” guide to touring. Check your local bookstore or library and you’ll probably be able to find at least one of these books.

Not much of a bookworm? That’s okay. There are some great podcasts out there for your listening pleasure. One that I listen to regularly is The Buzz Factor – by Bob Baker. It’s not completely focused on touring, but more the overall promotion of an artist or company in today’s ever-changing industry. He preaches the importance of having an overall strategy, one which you can easily work touring into. Check it out at: www.bob-baker.com/podcast - you can load up your ipod and just listen while you’re on the road!

Take a chance on my “Winter Reading List” if you can. These books probably won’t warm you up while you’re dead-heading to Winnipeg, but if you bring them on tour with you, they’ll definitely help keep you sane and break up the monotony. You may not know it, but you don’t have to be in a cabin to develop cabin fever. I’ve just diagnosed a new ailment called “Rolling Cabin Fever” – watch out for it. Musicians and roadies are at risk!

Just remember when you’re out there touring this winter, a) bring a scarf, and b) write a daily journal! Keep track of where you were, how the shows went, and experiences along the way. Heck, if you’ve got the guts to tour, please, please document it! If not for your pack of rabid, bloodthirsty fans, then do it for me. I can’t get enough of that stuff!